A Poop Story

This is only for the moms to read. No one else will appreciate it. Actually, I'm pretty sure only moms read this blog anyway.

So, notice how happy E looks in the above pic? Well right after I took that pic I picked her up and noticed her back was wet. I should mention she hadn't pooped in five days. You see where this is going?

So I picked her up, noticed her back was wet and I just thought it was pee. I put her on the changing table and proceeded to take off her pants and her diaper and YIKESSS!!! There was poop EVERYWHERE!!! Literally from her feet up to her hairline on the back of her neck. And it wasn't that innocent watery breastmilk poop, it was more like the consistency of peanut butter. Come to think of it, it was the same color as peanut butter too. Unfortunately it didn't smell like peanut butter. So I suppose this means that some of the baby food actually does get into her tummy and not just all over her face, on hair and clothes and me.

So back to the poop. It's all over her and her clothes and now it's all over the changing table and I've already used about a dozen wipes and so I call to L and ask her to bring me a plastic bag. We keep the plastic grocery store bags in the cabinet just for throwing out poopy diapers. Here's my conversation with L.

me "Honey, can you get me a plastic bag for E's poopy diaper?"

L " Okay mom."

A minute passes and she doesn't bring me the bag. I have poop on my hands and E has managed to kick her little feet into the poop smeared changing table.

me "L, can you bring me the bag please?"

L, "Uh huh."

me "Bring me the bag now please."

L, "Uh huh, just let me finish coloring this picture first."

me "L I need it right now. Finish your picture after.
L sighs "Okay okay"

I'm still waiting and trying not to touch anything with my pooped upon hands.

L "Mommy, do you want a brown bag or a white one"

me " I don't care."

L "Hmmm, how about a brown one from the grocery store?"

me "That's fine. Just bring it in here."

L "Oooh, how about this white Target bag?"

Good God. She finally brought me the bag, the white Target one if you were wondering. I ended up throwing away the clothes E had been wearing and giving her an emergency bath. This all occurred before 7:15 am.

Days later and I swear I can still smell the poop.