I'm starting to wonder if something is actually wrong with me. I'm beginning to think that I may be depressed. I don't mean depressed like, oh poor me my life is horrible and I don't want to go on; I mean I'm in a major funk. I have no energy. At first I thought this was just pregnancy fatigue, but it's something else. I have no desire or no energy to do the things I usually do. I haven't brought the kids to the playground or museum or the indoor playspace we usually go to in months. These are things we usually do on a weekly basis. I didn't re-join my usual playgroup this spring nor did I sign the girls up for another session of Gymboree, even though they love going there. I have snapped at Lindsey on more than one occasion which has then caused me to burst into tears because I felt so terrible. The house is an absolute disaster. I mean it's really gross and I have no motivation to clean it, which isn't like me. I have little interest in playing with the kids. Many days when DH is home I tell him I don't feel well and escape to my bed and pull the covers over my head and don't come out for a few hours. I could probably sleep for 15 hours a day. Poor DH is being seriously neglected in the love making department because at night all I want to do is lay in bed and not talk to anyone and watch tv and go to sleep. It's taken me a while to recognize this but I think there is something wrong here. I don't like myself right now because I'm not behaving like myself. I'm not writing this so that people can feel sorry for me I just needed to get it all down, get it out. I have an appt with my OB this week and I plan to talk to her about this but I'm afraid I'm either going to wimp out or she won't take me serious enough. I just hate being a lump. I want to be fun again. Where did I go?