Friday, June 23, 2006

"I feel so bad for you"

I took the girls to the library this morning. We go every other week or sometimes more often. We check out books and a few videos and they have a great playspace, puzzle area, train table etc. During the school year when the "big" kids are at school it's pretty peaceful and there's always a preschooler for L to pal around with and a few toddlers/babies for Z to stare at. Now that school is out the library gets really crowded with kids of all ages. They do this great summer reading program that really gets the kids into the library. That was part of the reason for going today. I signed both girls up for the "listeners" (kids who are read to as opposed to actually reading themselves) as opposed to the "readers" summer reading program. Yes, I signed my 20 month old up for summer reading. I was only going to sign L up but the librarian said "how old is your little one?"
I said, "oh she's only 20 months, don't worry about her."
Librarian "you should sign her up too because she's going to want a sticker and candy when she sees her big sister getting them." (every ten books they have read to them they get a sticker and candy and a special prize)
Me, "okay, why not."
So while I'm checking out a slew of books, balancing Z on my hip and L is standing rather patiently in front of me jumping up and down in the way that 3 year olds do , the librarian hands my a clip board to sign the girls names etc on for the program. I manage to write all the info down, no one is melting down, screaming or doing anything out of control.
Librarian says to me with raised eyebrows, "Are you okay. Can you handle all of this?"
Me,politely smiling, "I'm fine. You'd be amazed at what I can handle.
Librarian, "I just feel so bad for you.
Me, smile gone, "Well don't."

I know she just meant to say something like, "you've really got your hands full." But apparently she lost all control of the part of her brain that makes her speak with any tact at all. She's the children's room librarian for god's sake, she sees moms juggling a lot more kids than I have on a daily basis. It's not like I had ten screaming snot nosed kids hanging onto my pregnant ass. I know she didn't really mean anything horrible by it and I'm not offended at all. More amused or surprised .
I guess it kind of opened up a whole new view to me. Some people do look at moms with little kids and feel bad for them like their lives must just suck. Especially when it's a pregnant mom with two little kids.
What I should have said was, "Don't feel bad for me. I'm the luckiest person in the world with two healthy children and another one on the way."


Blogger b said...

what an odd, foot in the mouth comment! I love your response.

9:45 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

That is strange! I've learned this past week how impossible it is for people without kids to have a clue. I love your response as well!

12:41 AM  
Blogger Momma-rama said...

I totally agree with Erin.

And your response was perfect.

2:47 AM  
Blogger Sraikh said...

Yup, ignore them. People feel sorry for me too. No family, 3 kids and *gasp* pregnant!

I tend to ignore them.

Anyways, Ashwina and Avasha are in a reading programme as well. And Ashwina reads to Avasha..

5:07 PM  
Blogger Dallas Cowgirl said...

I also love your response. And I feel bad for those who can't see the beauty and fun in raising the wee ones.

5:54 PM  
Blogger Allison said...

I blogged about my librarians recently -- they're terrible wart-nosed witches, I swear.

However, the toddler/children's room librarians are great, so far. I've only been taking Avery to the public library for 6 weeks or so.

Anyway, sorry about the comment, but I think you're right. Even some of my friends who are kidless (and hopefully remain that way) manage to convey nothing but pity in their expressions when they look at me at times. I want to tell them to "F off!" LOL

11:54 PM  
Blogger Highlandgal said...

You know, I don't even feel like we're kidding ourselves. I was a clueless single nimrod once. I know that perspective. You really don't comprehend how many positives there are to parenthood until you live it.

9:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how horrible of her! You were a ton more tactful than I would've been.

4:45 PM  

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