You know you want to see it

Not very good quality but here I am in all my glory at 38 weeks pregnant.

15 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!

My due date is in 15 days. I'm soooooo not mentally prepared to take care of three very young children. I never felt this freaked out when pregnant with Z. I knew I could handle two, but three, well I just don't have the confidence I wish I had. How am I going to function on so little sleep? How am I going to keep the other two asleep when #3 is screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night? I guess my biggest concern is L and Z. I can survive with little sleep (though not very well) but I don't want to also have a cranky over tired 2 and 4 year old on my hands. This is my biggest fear of all I guess. L and Z being cranky and I'm cranky too so I end up yelling at them a lot which I then feel sooooo guilty about I cry and feel, miserable that mixed in with post pregnancy hormones,yikes.
All right, I just had to get all that out.

The Little Flower Girl

I didn't get any great pics of my little flower girl. I'm hoping the photographer and other relatives got some good ones. Here she is when we were all ready to leave our hotel room and ride in the big fancy limo to the church. Needless to say she thought the limo was sooooo cool.


Fast forward to about 9:15 pm at the reception. Music blasting, people dancing, and L nearly asleep on Daddy's shoulder on the dance floor. I took her upstairs to our room and put her to bed moments after this pic.

She did pretty well at the actual wedding ceremony considering she is only 4 years old. She walked down the aisle with her new step cousin with out melting down BUT when she reached the alter her little face crumbled and she said "I forgot to throw the flower petals." In all the excitement of walking down the aisle she forgot to toss the petals. So I whispered to her, "It's okay honey. It's really important that you throw flower petals on the aisle when we walk back down too." So after the ceremony, as the bridal party all proceeded back down the aisle she got to walk between Hubby and I and she tossed all of her flower petals. Phew, crisis diverted.

We were having about a trillion pics taken outside the church afterwards, you know, the whole bridal party, now just the bride and the bridal party, now the bride and the bridesmaids, now the groom and the bridesmaids blah blah blah blah so L went into meltdown mode. She was crying and refused to look at the camera so we (Hubby L and I) were kindly released from any further pics until later. We skipped out on taking the limo back to the hotel and instead the three of us drove in our car and made a pit stop at McDonalds. Yup, a Happy Meal was in definite need. In order to not spill on her dress I covered her in two blankets and pretty much fed her like a baby. Four chicken nuggets, some fries, a gallon of ketchup and some chocolate milk later and she was a whole new girl. We arrived back at the hotel for yet some more pics but this time L was happy and smiled like an angel.
The reception went well too. L had a lot of fun with another little five year old (the son of Hubby's cousin so I guess technically they are cousins too). She danced a lot with Hubby and her new step cousins and was completely wiped out by 9:00. I took her upstairs and she fell asleep within minutes. Hubby was sweet enough to bring up a piece of wedding cake for her but since she'd fallen asleep we let her eat it when she woke up this morning at 7:00am. Yup, chocolate wedding cake for breakfast, YUMMY!

One more thing

We had our playdate with the new A on wednesday after school. They came over, (she and her mom), and they had a really good time playing together. They only stayed for a little over an hour, which really seems to be perfect for preschoolers anyway. L was really happy, needless to say, I was too.

Big To Do This Weekend

SIL is getting married on Saturday so Hubby, L and I are all busy little bees these next few days. Tonight is the rehearsal. I've made a managerial decision that L and I will not be attending the dinner after the rehearsal because it will just be too late of a night for L. I'm a bit bummed about not being able to go myself but there's not much I can do about it. Z will be home with my parents and after the rehearsal at the church L and I will head home and Hubby will go to the restaurant and get to eat some yummy food and drink as many drinks as he wants with out having to pay a thing. Do I sound a little jealous?
Tomorrow while L is at school Z and I are going to our first Little Gym class. I've been feeling guilty that Z doesn't get to do anything fun that's just for her. She wants soooo badly to get to stay at L's preschool whenever we drop her off and she wants to stay at L's dance classes too. I feel so bad dragging her around to everything that's all for L and nothing special for Z. So as of tomorrow our Friday mornings will be spent at Little Gym having fun together. The poor middle child.
Saturday L will have dance class in the morning and then sometime in the early afternoon my mom will come over to spend the day and night with Z then L, Hubs and I will head to the hotel where the reception is being held. Get ourselves all pretty and head to the wedding. We'll be spending the night there so whenever L turns into an overtired, overstimulated nightmare she and I will retire up to our room for some sleep while Hubby gets to drink himself into a puddle with all of his cousins and such. Again, do I sound jealous?????
Another little thing, my due date is three weeks from tomorrow. I'm starting to loose my mucous plug. I bet you really really really wanted to hear that! I like to refer to it as gobbledeegook coming out of my hoohoo. Though I'm not getting too excited about labor starting anytime soon. I'll very likely go until my due date as I did with both girls. Though a little early would be nice, sigh.. one can dream...

Update from a neurotic mom

I was a little early at pick up for preschool today. When you are early you get to watch them play during recess on the playground. A lot of the moms hang over the fence and chat with their kids during this time. I prefer to park my car close by and spy. I prefer the fly on the wall effect, that way I'm really getting to see her interact without my interference, kwim? So today I'm watching her and she's trying to play with C and A but they aren't really paying much attention to her. She doesn't really seem to mind. After all she's only four and is just as happy playing by herself. So she goes off and does her own thing. And then I notice she's playing a lot with this other little girl, also an A but a different A.
After dismissal while I'm getting her in the car, A, (the new A) and her mom come over to me and the mom says that A would really like to have a playdate with L. Hearing this was like music to my ears. I will honestly admit that I am more excited about the impending playdate than L is, not that she isn't happy about it but I am a neurotic mom so she can't possibly compare to me.
I know I sound like a crazy person who is obsessing over her four year old's social life but I'm really not. I just want her to know that she can have other friends besides C especially when C is being less than friendly. Sigh, I just want her to feel happy, confident and well loved,even when I'm not around, is that so much to ask?

Here's My Heart Wrenching Story of the Day

Today L was going to her friend C's b'day party. Before we left L had mentioned something about C being her "best friend". I don't really care for that term just because it seems like someone's feelings are bound to get hurt. Can't you just picture a bunch of preschoolers out at recess and a whole conversation about who is "best friends" and who isn't? So I said to L " you know you can have more than one best friend." She said " I don't want more than one."
Fast forward to the party. It was a small party, only 4 little girls and L is very comfortable at C's house and with C's mom so I dropped her off instead of staying. I came back to pick her up about 20 minutes early just to make sure she was okay because I've never left her at a party before. She looked really glum when I arrived and ignored me. I finally got her to give me a quiet sad little "hi mom". Then A's mom arrived to pick her up and A said "mommy look what C gave me." It was a necklace with a plastic charm that said "Very Best Friend" and the charm was half a heart and C had a necklace with the other half. You know, they fit together to make a complete heart. So C, the b'day girl, had given this to A at the party right in front of L, clearly stating that L was NOT her best friend. As I stood there trying to control my impulse to strangle both C and A my little L asked very sweetly of them both " Can I see your necklaces?" They both snottily replied " NO!".
When we got home and I was telling this to Hubby I almost couldn't hold back the tears. I know I'm hormonal and all, but how the hell am I ,as a soon to be mom of three girls, to deal with the mean girl crap of adolescence when I can't even handle the unkindness of four year olds?
Both C and A are in L's preschool class so you just KNOW they are going to wear those stupid god damn necklaces to school and make L feel sad all over again. Now I know these two little girls aren't mean and intentionally trying to be hurtful. They're only four years old. It just sucks when you can't make everything all peachy for your kid.
At bedtime tonight I brought this up with L again. She was in a happy mood so I really considered NOT saying anything about it again but I didn't want her to have any confusing feelings about it. I asked her how she felt about the necklace and she said it hurt her feelings. I told her I didn't think that C and A meant to hurt her feelings and if they or any of her friends does or says something that hurts her feelings she should tell them that because maybe they don't realize they are doing it. She seemed fine about it tonight but I still have an ache in my heart. I'm pathetic.

And the Mother of the Year Award Goes To....

Do you remember that episode of the Brady Bunch where Jan gets caught sneeking out her window and gets grounded? But it turns out she had been sneaking out to the mail box to mail a letter nominating her Dad for Father of the Year. And of course he wins.
Well I'm thinking I may do something like that for my own beloved Mommy.
I'll tell you why.
My Mom retired at the beginning of this month and she has been offering to "help" me with the kids for a few weeks now. This of course in my eyes is a blessing and a nightmare. But alas, I had an OB appointment this morning at 8:30. I made it for that early because I knew it was the first appointment of the day so I'd be in and out in no time so I could take the kids with me. But at my last appointment the doc reminded me I was going to have the GBS test at this appointment. Not exactly what you want to do with two kids in the room. L probably wouldn't mind it but Z would be terrified to see Mommy laying down on the exam table with feet in stirrups as the doctor attacked my hoohoo with a giant Q-Tip. So I asked my mom last week if she would babysit this morning. "Oh of course" was her reply. So this morning the clock strikes 8:00 and no Mom of the year to be seen. I call her cell phone. Of course no answer, I don't even know if she knows how to answer it. It's a 20 minute drive to the OB and the kids aren't even dressed so I know I can't just get them ready and go, we'll never make it on time. 8:30 rolls around I call her cell again, no answer, I call her home phone, no answer. I'm getting a wee bit concerned now. I decide to call my Dad but realize I don't have his work number and of course he doesn't answer his cell either. I get distracted with the kids and don't get around to calling her again until 9:15. I call her home phone again and she answers with that voice that clearly gives away the fact that she has been asleep. She's all scratchy and screetchy like it's 3am.
She forgot about babysitting for her grandchildren and over slept.
L kept asking me why Nanny didn't come over to see her today. I was going to lie and say she was sick. Instead I just said, "Nanny is tired." I hope L repeats this to Nanny many times so that she can make Nanny feel like crap over and over and over again. Awwww, is that petty and immature of me??

First day of school pics

Here is L on her first day of preschool. The first day was only an hour and the parents had to stay. L kept saying, "Mommy you can go now." She's been there done that and couldn't care less about my presence there.


Here is her first full day (all three hours of it). She couldn't wait to get rid of me.

And of course Z looking cute with her pigtails. After we dropped L off at school Z said "where's CeeCee?" (her knickname for L). I said "she's at school honey." Z literally threw herself down on the ground and cried " Noooo! I want CeeCee." She missed her big sis. She kept asking for her throughout the morning.

Random stuff

L had her first dance class today. It's ballet and tap, a half hour of each. It was pretty cute but the teacher had zero control of the kids. There were only about 7 little girls in there, ages 3-5 and they were pretty much running the show. It was like watching a mutiny. I felt like I could have gone in there and done a better job teaching, not that I know a whole lot about dance, but I'm confident I could have had better control of the class. Maybe next week will be better.
Hubby and I finally decided on a name for the baby. We don't have a middle name yet but we're 95% sure of the first name. That's such a relief. Now I feel like she can come whenever she wants, we're ready. Even though we don't have all of our "stuff" ready yet but that's not nearly as important as having a name, IMO.
Hubs took L to Home Depot to buy a bunch of random crap that we need and Z is napping so I'm off to take a nap myself.

My feet are swollen. They look like big square marshmallows.
Oooh marshmallows, yummy.

Anyway here's my story of the day.While putting the kids in the car today in my drive way the garbage truck pulls up to collect, what else, my garbage. I give the guy a little smile and a nod. And he says "how you doing". I then am finished strapping L into her seat so I must have moved away from the car to reveal my enormous belly, which apparently wasn't noticeable at the previous angle. I then hear the guy laugh, he actually laughed. I turned and looked at him and he said, while still laughing "wow, you're really pregnant."
I looked at him dumbly and said" Fuck you, you're a garbage man."
Alright, I didn't really say that. But I wanted to.

Boring week and boring weekend, not much to report

Sometimes I just can't get myself to blog because I have a whole lotta nuttin' to share. Here's my boring week and weekend highlights thus far.
OB appt on tuesday was very quick and uneventful. My blood pressure is up to 140/90 which is high for anyone, especially me. Mine is usually so low it's like I'm a walking dead person. Doc said my "urine is clean" so she's not overly concerned. I was like," so my urine's clean, does that mean I can like drink it?"
Up two more pounds for a total of 29 lbs. I'm a freakin cow.
Took L on Thurs to have the alterations done on her flower girl dress and my bridesmaid dress. L was incredibly patient as the seamstress pinned and measure her for 15 minutes. She had to stand very still. I was amazed her 4 year old body was capable of standing so still.
The seamstress had to take my body measurements. So I of course had to ask what my waist was measuring.
FORTY SIX INCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday the girls were missing Daddy. L had this sad face all morning and I kept asking her what was wrong. She would reply "I miss Daddy." I would say "Do you want to call him?" She would answer "No, I just want to see him."
They hadn't see him since Thursday night and he won't be home until Monday morning, so after Z's nap we piled in the car and drove the 45 minutes to visit Daddy at the fire station. We hung out for an hour and miraculously he didn't need to go out on a single call the whole time. The kids ran around the fire station and climbed all over the fire trucks like they were at Disney World. It's nice being married to the lieutenant. He's the one in charge at the station so no one can complain to him when his family comes and takes over the place.
Today, it's raining buckets. After Z takes her nap we'll be heading to the mall to buy new shoes and maybe a few new outfits for L for back to school. I also need to get her ballet shoes, tap shoes and other stuff for her new dance class she starts next week.
See, I told you. Boring, nothing to report. Blah blah blah blah.